Historians will one day try to pinpoint the year when old ideas about assimilation in America succumbed to dry rot. “In earlier times,” they will say, “indigenous populations and immigrants were expected to assimilate into the dominant culture, which was white. Assimilation meant dressing like white people, speaking English like white people and generally conforming to white cultural norms, like being emotionally reserved.” The values that were supposed to bind us together as Americans fell by the wayside.

It’s almost 2020 now, and I can’t tell you what white culture is. Is it the way ranchers in Texas live and speak? Is it behaving like an Appalachian sheep farmer or like the oil drillers along the gulf coast? Does it mean using a Boston accent or a Louisiana accent? Is it best exemplified by mid-western neighborliness, by the hippies of southern California or by Vermont taciturnity?

I mean, somebody needs to do some research here and explore this white culture. It’s all over the place and has yet to be defined by anyone. One thing’s for sure: it’s pluralistic. It has as many variations as Hydra had heads.

The once dominant, singular white culture disappeared decades ago. We have been steadily creating a multicultural society since the emancipation, then European immigration in the 1900’s, Jewish immigration during WWII, Cuban immigration since 1960, Vietnamese boat people after 1975, and the current worldwide influx of refugees from Africa and South America.

Each ethnicity undergoes a process similar to that of the white culture. They diversify over time. There is no unified Latinx culture, no single Asian culture. There is no one black culture, and so on. To talk about “the Mexicans” – as if everyone who crosses our southern border is from Mexico and shares the same culture – is simply ignorant.

White people are now the ones who need to assimilate. When you hear a white person having a meltdown because a customer in the store isn’t speaking English, that white person is the one who has has failed to assimilate into the multicultural society that is now the norm for America. When you see stories of white people calling the police on black and brown people who are going about their business, you are seeing evidence of a white person’s failure to assimilate into the dominant culture – a pluralistic, multicultural society.

Notice how often white people assume there is still a single white culture.

Notice also the Fox News commentators who got their knickers in a knot because Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez says her name with a Spanish inflection. See the churches that stick to their old white culture and won’t allow the ordination of gay ministers or marry gay people. Hear the people at work who make up a nickname for someone rather than learning to pronounce an ethnic name. See the shop window in town with a “No service for LGBTQ” sign in the window.

The rest of us have focused on treating others with kindness and respect, on helping those who need a helping hand, on fighting for human rights. We focus on fundamental American values, especially the inherent equality and dignity of all human beings. As Jacinda Ardern said after the slaughter of Muslims at worship in New Zealand, “We are them and they are us.” When one is attacked, we all suffer.

The ideal for our society now is cross-assimilation. Someone who is new to our American way of life learns how to function as an American, and those of us who have been here all along learn something of value from this new person’s culture. It’s a recognition that every culture has something to teach us.

Whoever you are, you belong in this current, inclusive American society. You don’t have to live in the whites-only, mom-and-pop culture from decades ago.  Whatever  lifestyle you have chosen, whatever your family composition, economic situation or ethnicity, this diverse society values you and all that you are. You, too, can be assimilated.